Why am I so Negative?
Aug. 10th, 2010 11:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
epik_noodlesSo, I woke up early...
Umm... I'm still suffering from jetlag,.. I can fall asleep until 6:00am. I sadly don't wake up until 2:00pm. Waking up at 8:00am means I only sleep for 2 hours. Imagine the grumpiness. The dentist appointment is at 10:00am. More cavity fillings, my jaw and teeth hurt so much!
Later I was dropped off, alone, at Ikea to go eat some soft delicious Swedish meatballs with lingon berry sauce. I walked around, explored, found a cool sofa. I was picked up and we did some grocery shopping. We had a barbecue. I ate blood dripping raw steak, because that's the way I like it. The sweetness of the blood and fat still remains when the meat is raw. I'm not trying to sound creepy, but I've been eating that way since I was a child. It contains lots of iron.
Maciek visited me a few hours ago. He came to pick up the souvenirs I got him a cute Naruto in Asakusa cell strap and an awesome violent shirt with a cute bear (he called it pedo-bear) viciously cutting up Ronald McDonald. Maciek loved it because he knew the bear. He stayed for a bit and I showed him all the cool stuff I got from Japan.
I dunno, my life just really feels pointless.
I realized a long time ago, but maybe my parents are right. I truly am useless. I've been told that I'm useless for all of my life. I am of no contributing value to society. No one needs a loser like me. I never did care for college. As matter of fact, I don't want to attend classes! I don't like my classes, I don't like where my life is going. It's true that people say I'm smart, but I'm a different kind of smart. I only know how to resolve peoples problems and bring smiles to them. As for knowledge, I only know random useless facts, my memory of facts is decent. Nobody cares if I know about the fall of Edo, the secrets and origins of the himitsu bako, the American Revolution, the specs of every passenger aircraft (right down to the engine and fuel tanks), filming skills, or agricultural knowledge (don't ask). I know useless things. There is no place for me in college. I have no interest in classes. It's been so many years and I still haven't decided on a major! Society doesn't need lazy good for nothings like myself. For me, I would prefer to rot on the side of the street like the useless fool I am.
I needed to get that written down, my emo-ness always weighs me down.
Now I feel better.
Umm... I'm still suffering from jetlag,.. I can fall asleep until 6:00am. I sadly don't wake up until 2:00pm. Waking up at 8:00am means I only sleep for 2 hours. Imagine the grumpiness. The dentist appointment is at 10:00am. More cavity fillings, my jaw and teeth hurt so much!
Later I was dropped off, alone, at Ikea to go eat some soft delicious Swedish meatballs with lingon berry sauce. I walked around, explored, found a cool sofa. I was picked up and we did some grocery shopping. We had a barbecue. I ate blood dripping raw steak, because that's the way I like it. The sweetness of the blood and fat still remains when the meat is raw. I'm not trying to sound creepy, but I've been eating that way since I was a child. It contains lots of iron.
Maciek visited me a few hours ago. He came to pick up the souvenirs I got him a cute Naruto in Asakusa cell strap and an awesome violent shirt with a cute bear (he called it pedo-bear) viciously cutting up Ronald McDonald. Maciek loved it because he knew the bear. He stayed for a bit and I showed him all the cool stuff I got from Japan.
I dunno, my life just really feels pointless.
I realized a long time ago, but maybe my parents are right. I truly am useless. I've been told that I'm useless for all of my life. I am of no contributing value to society. No one needs a loser like me. I never did care for college. As matter of fact, I don't want to attend classes! I don't like my classes, I don't like where my life is going. It's true that people say I'm smart, but I'm a different kind of smart. I only know how to resolve peoples problems and bring smiles to them. As for knowledge, I only know random useless facts, my memory of facts is decent. Nobody cares if I know about the fall of Edo, the secrets and origins of the himitsu bako, the American Revolution, the specs of every passenger aircraft (right down to the engine and fuel tanks), filming skills, or agricultural knowledge (don't ask). I know useless things. There is no place for me in college. I have no interest in classes. It's been so many years and I still haven't decided on a major! Society doesn't need lazy good for nothings like myself. For me, I would prefer to rot on the side of the street like the useless fool I am.
I needed to get that written down, my emo-ness always weighs me down.
Now I feel better.
