Sad For Many Reasons.

[epik_noodles]

(On a side note, I got this really cool Nissy icon off of deviantart.com)

One....
I'm super sad that I couldn't finish my comic last night. It was only 1am and I managed to get caught! I was so close to finishing! I had inked all the panel borders, then I got caught before inking the characters. Unfortunately, in this house, DRAWING IS FORBIDDEN!!! I have no idea why my parents established that rule... something along the lines of "drawing is a waste of time, it has nothing to do with education, and it doesn't feed you!" I'm still not allowed to apply to an art college. I get in big trouble if I'm caught drawing. I get yelled at for drawing at work. Art is a form of freedom and expression, I don't know why my parents don't understand that. I'm really sad about this because I could've finished the Shinjiro comic last night, but I got caught and was forced to stop.

Two....
Another thing which I'm not too happy about... I found someone's Misako fanart (deviation).

Source: sushi-master901 @ Deviant Art (Click for the full image)

Their editing and coloring skills far surpasses mine. I am a horrible artist, I'm no match for that somewhat masterpiece! For sure, I know they used a picture editing software, because they wrote it in their comment. I myself use photoshop to retouch / clean up my drawings, but never to such a degree. Call me jealous, but I'm pretty satisfied with my drawing style, it's just... I always fail at coloring. Sushi Master has outdone me! I'm going to work really hard until I can color proficiently. Then... maybe all my comics can be in color someday. As I've always been told again and again... "the things we draw are unique to us, they come from our hearts, they are a part of us, our art defines who we are!" From the wise words of Edward C. Cook, local Batavia artist.

Three....
I lost my limited edition Bloody Monday Falcon USB flash drive. I'm hopeless... I can't find it. I know it's in the house!

Four....
My Zoid I got off ebay still hasn't arrived. If it's being sent by plane a week and a half ago, why hasn't it arrived? I must be spoiled by Japan EMS, they ship fast.

Five....
I have less than two weeks to write my research paper on "social phobia." A topic I'm way too familiar with. Why must psychology be so annoying?

I guess tomorrow's post be a level happier than this one.

Comments

[epik_noodles]

No, it's okay, understandable.

Oh... it doesn't have much to do with the actual drawing itself. What sparked my self-hate was the the fact that I got caught drawing. Drawing is my passion, I enjoy it, I'm pretty good at it. But it isn't something I can practice freely. I get punished because drawing isn't a form of productivity. I begin to question why I get punished over such a trivial thing, is it because I'm not good enough? Or is it because my parents refuse to accept it?

As far as the concept of "art," I already understand all of that. Mr. Cook can't stop reminding me enough times. Hey... I'm happy with my art style (I can totally replicate that piece no problem). I was really impressed with that fanart. The only thing that bugs me and always will, is the coloring. It reminds me of when I was 8 and got 176th place in a coloring contest... Coloring, my Achilles' heel. My characters don't care if I color them or not, they just love existing, right?

Thank you so much.
Oh come on, everyone has the capability to create something. All of us, we were all given the potential to become as great as Picasso. What sets everyone apart is that we all shape ourselves at different speeds and our limitations are different. Example, someone who draws cars very well cannot draw people. Myself, I can sort of draw people but can't draw anything else period. You just need to find your forte.

You too have the potential to become a greater artist than me. Now you've got me curious, I want to see your artwork.